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Monthly Archives: March 2019


Hamster, Hanibal Hamster

Artist: CHI

 Story based on actual gameplay.

              The bedsheet and mattress were hard and cold. Was that sand in his bed and what happened to his covers?  He must have left the window to his bedroom open because the breeze coming through had left an awful chill in the air.  The bed was so hard. He spit out some of the sand or dirt..was it dirt?  that had gotten into his mouth.  Blearily he opened his eyes. To his dismay things began to both make a little more sense and none at all.  As he lifted his head off of the ground he became startlingly aware he was in fact not in his bed, his room, or even his house.  He seemed to be on the crest of a hill overlooking an unfamiliar valley.  The area was mostly barren with sparse patches of grass scattered here and there.  He drew himself up to his knees and began to take stock of his situation. He was unharmed and unarmed. His clothing was less than ideal; barefoot, boxers and a sleeveless t-shirt. He was unsure of the time, but it was obviously late in the evening since the sun hung low in the sky.  The young man, becoming less and less foggy headed, finally took to his feet, gave one last look all about him and saw nothing in any direction for miles and miles except for what lay in the valley before him.  There he saw what looked to be a small town.  With no better options making themselves available, he began a slow, unsteady walk down into the valley.

It took about an hour to walk down to the town.  It was a guess about the amount of time as he had no watch or other timekeeping device. The “Town” seemed to be barely deserving of the name.  More like a collection of about ten buildings.  They all looked abandoned and appeared to have been that way for quite some time.  All that was missing was the breeze to blow a couple of tumbleweeds across his path.  The fourth building on the right looked promising.  The sign above read “Police”.  He decided he’d make straight for the police station.  Despite his state of dress, he felt more naked without a weapon for protection.  The town itself seemed to be dead and devoid of any form of life whatsoever. As he passed the mortuary he observed its front lined with old wooden coffins. It was like something out of an old western.  To his left was a bank, closed and dark inside.  He passed on his left and right an old post office and tailor shop. They were also dark and appeared to be empty. Past them on the left, was a dress shop and on the right an abandoned general store.  The general store looked as if it had been ransacked and forgotten years ago.  The door was busted in, the windows broken out and from the street he could see the shelves were empty as he passed.  Stopping outside of the police he began searching around for any sign of movement within.

After a few moments, he decided he was as reassured as was going to get and tried the door.   The knob turned freely or rather too freely. When he pushed the door however it barely moved.  He stood back and examined the door.  It must be blocked, he thought to himself.  He was no bodybuilder but, he had seen a gym on a semi regular basis.  His body was thickly proportioned and his mass mostly muscle.  He leaned into the door squaring himself with it, drew back and rammed into it with all his force.  Whatever had been holding the door gave way and the door grudgingly swung open. He stumbled through, the yielding of the door throwing him off balance.  Behind the door he found the desk he had displaced from its position as a barricade.  The station itself, like the rest of the town, was empty and appeared to have been so for quite some time. He just hoped it hadn’t been picked clean of anything useful.   He began his search in the locker room. The room was rather small, only a row of about 6 lockers on his left and to his right a shower room. The lingering musty smell of men still hung heavy in the air. He rummaged through locker after locker looking for something he could use. It wasn’t until he searched the fifth locker that he finally found what he was looking for.  He withdrew a tactical jumpsuit and boots. The fit was good, if a bit snug.  The sixth locker held a bulletproof vest which also fit. On the floor of the locker he also found a flashlight which would come in handy once it was full dark. Next, he went to the armory.  As he expected it had been cleaned out. Not even a pistol or grenade left behind.  All he got for his effort were a couple of empty rifle clips.

He walked back to the main floor and started rummaging through desk drawers and, for his trouble, he was rewarded with a granola bar, a snickers and behind the last desk a corpse clutching a military grade, semi-auto assault rifle.  Still no bullets. The corpse sat lonely in the corner with the back its head missing.  Apparently, the poor bastard had used the rifle on himself rather than turn.  He carefully retrieved the rifle from the dead man and checked it.  It was in pretty decent condition but unfortunately was completely empty. He had even checked the corpse’s pockets and still found nothing. Now, he stood there in the center of the room trying to think of what to do next.  Before he could come up with anything, he thought he heard a noise from outside. He turned quickly in surprise and tripped over a deteriorating cardboard box. When the box shook, he thought he heard a very familiar sound. Kneeling, he peered into the box and amongst paper, trash and other detritus he found a small box of bullets. That was when he heard the sound from outside again.  Someone was coming.


Posting 20190318

The subdued yet bold tones of green, burgundy, and brown come together in this piece to bring to form an expression of life, strength, and harmony. This floating vine creates a natural accent for any room and makes for a great talking piece.


Crafted by Chi

Commissioned Summer 2017


infinity shirt 014

This is Kurt Wagner. But in the Munich circus, he was known as The Incredible Nightcrawler!

Artist: CHI

Baaradon dismounted his massive kodo at the hitching post in front of an old inn.  He wasn’t overly impressed, but then his needs were not at all extravagant.  A simple bed and a bit ale would suffice for the night. As he began to unload his gear he saw her.  At first he wasn’t sure it was her.  This was only because he had believed in his deep in heart of hearts he’d never see her again; but there she was. She rode a tall white stallion like something out of storybook. The mount was obviously a well trained warhorse Baar could tell from the controlled trot and manner of the beast. Its rider was clad in pristine plate armor that shined brightly in the light of the sun that was slowly descending behind her.  He could just barely make out sigils in her breast plate marking her as a member of the Order of Light.  So, she’s now a Paladin then; Baar mused. The horse stopped at the hitching post a few feet away and the rider dismounted. As she turned to face Baar she flicked her fiery red hair back and away from her eyes. It was then when he saw recognition in them as a brilliantly wide smile split across her face. Right then right there it was the most beautiful sight Baar had ever seen.  He found himself already returning the smile in earnest.  She walked gracefully over to him a sword on one hip and large mace hanging from the other.

“Baaradon!” She said excitedly reaching out to embrace him.

“Jesenia.” Baar replied quietly. His brain was on auto pilot as took herin his arms and  pulled her close. He was trying to think something more to say when he heard himself saying “I missed you.”  At those words he felt her even in her heavy plate armor melt into his fur and leathers. They stood there holding each other for what seemed like an eternity and no time at all. Then, Jesenia pulled back slightly lifting her head her smile turning a bit mischievous.

“I have never known Baaradon De La Hoof to ever miss.” Jesenia chided playfully

“Well, the mistake would have been fortunate if the satchel bag I hit instead of you had contained the amulet.” Baar replied.

“Yes, hmm. Too bad though I doubt you would have gotten through my armor anyway.” She said thoughtfully. Baar looked deep into her eyes and his voice lowered as he spoke.

“Possibly, But had I wanted to penetrate you, I’m sure pushing passed your armor would have not have been any trouble.”

“ah so, It’s you didn’t want to.” She paused “such a shame, a missed the opportunity.” She said as she feined a pout.

“perhaps the opportunity will present itself again. My arrow is sharp and my bow ready.”

Jesenia looked Baar up and down, her hand straying to her hair, lips pursed thoughtfully. When she spoke her words began as a low moan.

” That, might prove interesting; however, I have different armor nowadays.” Baar then watched as the playful demeanor melted away as her gaze shifted to something just passed him. Then, he felt it. Someone was approaching from behind. When he turned to look he saw the tall the Night Elf he had been traveling with approaching the two of them.

“Oh Jesenia, I would like you to meet…”  Jesenia sprang  at the Night Elf cutting Baaradon off mid introduction. She leapt into the elf’s arms and began kissing him passionately. Baar wasn’t sure what to make of this. “Well, either you greet strangers with a bit more…vigor than old friends or I’d say you knew each other.”  The human and night elf didn’t seem to hear Baar.  In fact in that moment they didn’t seem to be aware of anyone else in the world. After a few moments longer Baar rather loudly cleared his throat with a grumble.  This seem to break the spell the two had cast upon one another.

“Ah, Baaradon my tauren friend. Please, excuse my rudeness. I have missed my wife terribly.  This is Jesenia, Paladin of the Order of Light, mother of my children, the fuel of my beating heart and the motivation for surviving that prison you found me in.” The night elf proclaimed ”  Is her beauty not as I told you?”  Baar looked from the Slim to Jesenia. He took a long gaze into her eyes.

“Exactly so, my friend.  Though I believe you have found a new talent in understatement.  I now see and understand your true motivation for seeking your freedom. ”  Baar then abruptly broke eye contact and turned to Slim.  “I will leave you two to…” His voice trailed off and he waved his hand about in a generally vague motion.  “I’ll get our gear stowed for the night.” And with that he strode away.  Slim watched him go and then turned back to his wife.

“That my dear was Baaradon.  He can be a bit anti social but he is a brave and skilled fighter.  I think you’ll like him.”

Jesenia, still watching Baar walk away, let her smile again take on a look of mischief.


“I just might at that.”    Slim looked to the direction Baar had taken and then back to Jesenia, quirking an eyebrow.


“Well, maybe not that much.”   Jesenia then gently ran her fingers down Slim’s long ears.


“Come my, love it has been far too long.  Let us found wine and a room and get… reacquainted.” She whispered pulling the elf toward the inn eyeing him hungrily.

Posting 20190121

This Jade Dragon is a bonzai for the lazy guy.  Crafted from green amazonite and gold wire, this little one only needs love and admiration – no water or sunlight required.

Jade Dragon

Crafted by Chi

Commissioned Spring 2018